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MG Charity Classic

Author: mgcarclubwellington  October 23, 2008

Title: MG Charity Classic
Location: Manfield
Description: Thorobred & Classic Cars, Schedule T&C, Groups 1&3
Start Date: 2009-05-09
End Date: 2009-05-10

W: www.mgcarclub.org.nz

Contact: Ron Robertson,   T: 04 564 8389

 

  

  

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks initially to Castrol NZ Ltd, sub-sponsors & 100’s of helpers,
we have raised more than $25,000 for Charity at the Castrol Charity
Classics held in 1999 & 2000, the 2001 MG Charity, with Toyo Tyres,
MoreFM, 2002 McGuinness Charity Classic and latterly the 2003 & 2004
Porirua Motor Body Repairs events. 2006 proudly sponsored by Q8 Oils.
 
The MG Car Club (Wellington Centre), Castrol NZ Limited and the
Cancer Society are proud to have created a new concept in Motorsport.

 

The initial events were such a success we just had to do more. With
the previous tremendous support of Castrol NZ Ltd we have created a
new must do event. With lots of help and the backing of MG Wellington
it’s still all go. We feature “classic” classics, being pre 1978,
with historically tight control of the standard of presentation of
all cars. We attract a varietal field of 120 or so cars, with usually
about 80 different models on the track all having awesome fun.

There are usually 21 races on the day, with all cars grouped by time
slices to ensure close racing all day, with the first race starting
at 11:30. We also have some special “guests” for extra spice.
Lunchtime sees Marque Car Clubs and some friends provide a host of
splendid cars for the public to have a ride around the track for
$5.00. The demand is always stunning and fun had by all, particularly
the drivers and we typically raise about $500.00 for the Cancer
Society from the rides alone.

All “donations of large gold coins” for public entry to the event,
are donated directly to the Cancer Society, We raise in excess of
$4,000 p.a. for this great cause, helping demonstrate that
“petrol-heads” do care for the community.

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More Jeremy Clarkson

Author: admin-2 I.C.  October 23, 2008

I’m sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like
having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.

 

The Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was like kind
of like Jordan and Cameron Diaz in a bath together playing with lots of jelly.

 

About the Porsche Cayman S: “There are many things I’d rather be doing than
driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty
nightclub, and then licking his back clean.

 

The last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off
an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be
no war with Germany.

 

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster: “It couldn’t pull a greased stick
out of a pig’s bottom”

 

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: “there is a word to describe this car: it begins
with ’s’ and ends with ‘t’ and it isn’t soot

 

The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian
transvestite

 

Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… That’s what gets you.

 

The air conditioning in a Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard
blowing at you through a straw.

 

Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than
what… BEING STABBED?

 

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was
Adolf Hitler.

 

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not
that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Ooh good I’ve got syphilis,
the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.

 

On the Mercedes CLS55: “Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less
painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss.”

 

I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places
quicker than I do?

 

Clarkson’s highway code on cyclists: “Trespassers in the motorcars domain,
they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some
of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run
them down to prove them wrong.”

 

I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader
who wrote, ‘I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next
to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted ‘Get a car’, and drove off.
What I actually said was, ‘Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating ninny’.”

 

Britain’s nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe…probably because they
don’t have wheel-chair access.

 

If we are being honest HIV is a pathetic virus, it can only live in the air
for 6 seconds and it does what Ebola does to you in 10 days in 10 years.

 

On Mandela’s claim that Cuba is a good advert for democracy: “Well Mr Mandela
why don’t you go and ask one of the 12 year old Cuban prostitutes which way
her parents voted?”

 

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don’t feature enough affordable
cars on the show……so we’ll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of
them all!

 

On the Lotus Elise: “This car is more fun than the entire French air force
crashing into a firework factory.”

 

Now as you can see I lost the battle to have two engines on the back because
of three very important reasons. One - weight. This is 600 Lbs and that’s the
same as having a whole American sitting on the tailgate…”

 

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on
sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers
wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

 

The DB9 has rear seats but no mammal yet created, not even when God was on
the LSD trip that gave us the pink flamingo, could fit into them.

 

Assessing Hammond’s crash:
Clarkson: You can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart.
Now why didn’t you spot that?!”
Hammond: “I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph.”
Clarkson: “What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the
phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, if a lion walks
in, I’m going to notice it!”

 
Sure it’s quiet, for a diesel. But that’s like being well-behaved…for a murderer.

 

I don’t often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animals duty to be
on my plate at supper time.

 

There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching…
on their face.

 

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like
making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in
British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some
bloke’s sweaty face.

 

Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it if you like,
as a librarian with a G-string under her tweed pants. I do, and it helps.

 

You can’t have this car with a diesel, its like saying, I won’t go to Stringfellows
tonight, I’ll get my mum to give me a lapdance, she’s a woman!

 

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car…
in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

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MG Car Club (Wellington Car Club) Inc.

Author: mgcarclubwellington  October 23, 2008

MG Car Club, (Wellington Centre) Inc.
Box 3135
Wellington

MG Classic Motor Racing
Box 164
Wellington

e.Mail to MGCC Wellington

E: www.mgcarclub.org.nz

 

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Corvette Heaven

Author: admin-2 I.C.  October 21, 2008

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Jeremy Clarkson on Motorcycles

Author: admin-2 I.C.  October 21, 2008

clarkson-on-why-you-should-ride-a-motorcycle-not
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/jeremy_clarkson/article4963194.ece

 
Recently, various newspapers ran a photograph of me on a small motorcycle.
They all pointed out that I hate motorbikes and that by riding one I had
exposed myself as a hypocrite who should commit suicide immediately.
Hmmm. Had I been photographed riding the local postmistress, then, yes,
I’d have been shamed into making some kind of apology. But it was a
motorcycle. And I don’t think it even remotely peculiar that a motoring
journalist should ride such a thing. Not when there is a problem with the
economy and many people are wondering if they should make a switch from
four wheels to two.
Unfortunately, you cannot make this switch on a whim, because this is
Britain and there are rules. Which means that before climbing on board
you must go to a car park, put on a high-visibility jacket and spend the
 morning driving round some cones while a man called Dave — all motorcycle
instructors are called Dave — explains which lever does what.
Afterwards, you will be taken on the road, where you will drive about
for several hours in a state of abject fear and misery, and then you will
go home and vow never to get on a motorcycle ever again.
This is called compulsory basic training and it allows you to ride any
bike up to 125cc. If you want to ride something bigger, you must take a
proper test. But, of course, being human, you will not want a bigger bike,
 because then you will be killed immediately while wearing clothing
from the Ann Summers “Dungeon” range.
Right, first things first. The motorbike is not like a car. It will not
stand up when left to its own devices. So, when you are not riding it,
it must be leant against a wall or a fence. I’m told some bikes come with
footstools which can be lowered to keep them upright. But then you have
to lift the bike onto this footstool, and that’s like trying to lift up
an American.
Next: the controls. Unlike with a car, there seems to be no
standardisation in the world of motorcycling. Some have gearlevers on
the steering wheel. Some have them on the floor, which means you have
to shift with your feet — how stupid is that? — and some are automatic.
Then we get to the brakes. Because bikes are designed by bikers — and
bikers, as we all know, are extremely dim — they haven’t worked out
how the front and back brake can be applied at the same time. So, to
stop the front wheel, you pull a lever on the steering wheel, and to
stop the one at the back, you press on a lever with one of your feet.
A word of warning, though. If you use only the front brake, you will
fly over the steering wheel and be killed. If you try to use the back
one, you will use the wrong foot and change into third gear instead
of stopping. So you’ll hit the obstacle you were trying to avoid,
and you’ll be killed.
Then there is the steering. The steering wheel comes in the shape of
what can only be described as handlebars, but if you turn them — even
slightly — while riding along, you will fall off and be killed. What
you have to do is lean into the corner, fix your gaze on the course
you wish to follow, and then you will fall off and be killed.
As far as the minor controls are concerned, well . . . you get a
horn and lights and indicators, all of which are operated by various
switches and buttons on the steering wheel, but if you look down to
see which one does what, a truck will hit you and you will be killed.
Oh, and for some extraordinary reason, the indicators do not
self-cancel, which means you will drive with one of them on
permanently, which will lead following traffic to think you are turning
right. It will then undertake just as you turn left, and you will be killed.
What I’m trying to say here is that, yes, bikes and cars are both
forms of transport, but they have nothing in common. Imagining that
you can ride a bike because you can drive a car is like imagining you
can swallow-dive off a 90ft cliff because you can play table tennis.
However, many people are making the switch because they imagine that
having a small motorcycle will be cheap. It isn’t. Sure, the 125cc
Vespa I tried can be bought for £3,499, but then you will need a helmet
(£300), a jacket (£500), some Freddie Mercury trousers (£100), shoes
(£130), a pair of Kevlar gloves (£90), a coffin (£1,000), a headstone (£750),
a cremation (£380) and flowers in the church (£200).
In other words, your small 125cc motorcycle, which has no boot, no
electric windows, no stereo and no bloody heater even, will end up
costing more than a Volkswagen Golf. That said, a bike is much
cheaper to run than a car. In fact, it takes only half a litre of
fuel to get from your house to the scene of your first fatal accident.
Which means that the lifetime cost of running your new bike is just 50p.
So, once you have decided that you would like a bike, the next problem
is choosing which one. And the simple answer is that, whatever you
select, you will be a laughing stock. Motorbiking has always been a
hobby rather than an alternative to proper transport, and as with all
hobbies, the people who partake are extremely knowledgeable. It often
amazes me that in their short lives bikers manage to learn as much
about biking as people who angle, or those who watch trains pull into
railway stations.
Whatever. Because they are so knowledgeable, they will know precisely
why the bike you select is rubbish and why theirs is superb. Mostly,
this has something to do with “getting your knee down”, which is a
practice undertaken by bikers moments before the crash that ends their life.
You, of course, being normal, will not be interested in getting your
knee down; only in getting to work and most of the way home again
before you die. That’s why I chose to test the Vespa, which is much
loathed by trainspotting bikers because they say it is a scooter.
This is racism. Picking on a machine because it has no crossbar is
like picking on a person because he has slitty eyes or brown skin.
Frankly, I liked the idea of a bike that has no crossbar, because
you can simply walk up to the seat and sit down. Useful if you
are Scottish and go about your daily business in a skirt.
I also liked the idea of a Vespa because most bikes are Japanese.
This means they are extremely reliable so you cannot avoid a fatal
crash by simply breaking down. This is entirely possible on a Vespa
 because it is made in Italy.
Mind you, there are some drawbacks you might like to consider.
The Vespa is not driven by a chain. Instead, the engine is mounted
to the side of the rear wheel for reasons that are lost in the mists
of time and unimportant anyway. However, it means the bike is wider
and fitted with bodywork like a car, to shroud the moving hot bits.
That makes it extremely heavy. Trying to pick it up after you’ve
fallen off it is impossible.
What’s more, because the heavy engine is on the right, the bike likes
turning right much more than it likes turning left. This means that
in all left-handed bends, you will be killed.
Unless you’ve been blown off by the sheer speed of the thing. At one
point I hit 40mph and it was as though my chest was being battered
by a freezing-cold hurricane. It was all I could do to keep a grip
on the steering wheel with my frostbitten fingers.
I therefore hated my experience of motorcycling and would not recommend
it to anyone.
The Clarksometer 2 out of 5
If you like misery, climb aboard

 

 

 

 

 

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2008 Silver Fern Rally Southland

Author: MAC_HATER  October 20, 2008

Hey guys got a request from fUrBuRgEr to sign up and post some photos i have of the rally mentioned above

it was held sunday the 19th of October in glenham (if you dont know where that it its near edendale which is kinda near gore if that helps )

was a really good day for a rally - no accidents that we saw just some crazy sideways action on the corner we camped at

ive got at least one photo of all the cars that went past - some had crashed out before they got to us so ill post a few here and if you are after a particular car just let me know

EDIT: got reports that people cant see the link and im having some real trouble putting photos in here - this place cant accept [IMG][/IMG] tags can it?

back to the drawing board :/

Cheers guys

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Pioneer Auto Parts

Author: admin-2 I.C.  October 14, 2008

278 Church Street, Penrose, Auckland.

T: 09 634 4115

696 Tremaine Ave, Palmerston North.

T: 06 356 1717

12 Mowbray Street, Christchurch

T: 03 366 5625.

E: sales@pap.co.nz

W: www.pap.co.nz
Consistent with our business of sourcing and ensuring avalibility of the highest quality auto parts with competitive pricing we have a powerful commitment to customer service. Pioneer attributes much success to a comprehensive sales force who are in contact with key customers daily.

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PowerBuilt Tools

Author: admin  October 14, 2008

Alltrade Tools Ltd.

T: 03 338 9620

E: sales@alltrade.co.nz

W: www.alltrade.co.nz

 

Our brand stable includes well-established company-owned brands such as Alltrade®, Powerbuilt®, Team Mechanix® and Tradespro™, as well as licensed national brands such as Kawasaki® and HOT ROD™.

Alltrade is a vertically integrated, global enterprise headquartered in a modern facility in Long Beach, California, U.S.A. In addition to our domestic facilities, Alltrade, through its affiliates, has manufacturing and assembly plants in Taiwan and in China. Fully staffed affiliate operations are also located in Germany, New Zealand, Australia, UK and India. Our products are sold throughout the United States, Canada, Mexico, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, China, Germany and England.

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Pioneer

Author: admin  October 14, 2008

10 Rothwell Ave, Albany.

T: 09 415 6000

W: www.

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GE Finance

Author: admin-2 I.C.  October 14, 2008

T: 0800 800 412

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